Don’t we all want a beautifully decorated holiday house – the kind that people slow down in front of to inhale the glow of mini-globes, greenery with berries, and bright red bows? As an overly enthusiastic devotee of Hallmark holiday movies, I dream of living in that house – the one that sends shivers of excitement up your spine when you behold its beauty. But I struggle to bring my fantasy-like thoughts to life because of, well, life.

Last year I saw one particular Hallmark movie that excited me more than most, and after viewing decided that my family would absolutely LOVE to spend a Christmas doing the exact same things. In the movie, a group of people unknown to one another were stuck in a magical lit inn where each day held a surprise activity that ended up bonding the group in a forever kind of way.

Because we have a blended family, I thought it could be the perfect way to help our family bond. The activities in the movie felt oh, so right in my heart; so I set about to duplicate what I experienced on the screen. I had five days with family in town to fill, so I planned the following:

Gingerbread house decorating contest.
Trim the Christmas tree while drinking hot cocoa and listening to holiday music.
Shop for last-minute holiday gifts, then complete some late-night gift wrapping.
Bake and decorate sugar cookies in an assortment of Christmas shapes and sizes.
Attend church on Christmas Eve and host a big family Christmas dinner after.
Stay up late to watch the movie “Elf” wearing matching Christmas pajamas.
Open gifts, eat a homemade Christmas brunch on Christmas Day, and play games.
And the list went on…

To prepare for our family to gather, I scoured catalogs for unique gifts, shopped for an abundance of ingredients for each meal and activity, mulled over Christmas magazines to assure myself I wasn’t missing a fun idea, wrapped as many gifts as possible in advance, and basically drove myself to exhaustion. I’m guessing you’ve done that before, too, or know someone – or perhaps several someones – who have done the same thing.

In the end, our children and grandchildren couldn’t have cared less about the holiday hullabaloo. They flew and drove long distances and just wanted to relax and hang out together. Their list of desired holiday activities looked nothing like mine. Their list was actually quite simple.

Sit on the sofa and chat with one another or text friends on their phones.
Watch the movie “Elf” wearing matching pajamas – I got THAT one right!
Play a dice game that my parents taught me to play when I was young.
Sleep in as late as they wanted to, which was pretty darn late.
Eat, snack, hang out, take a nap, laugh, share stories and laugh some more.

That’s about it. At first, I was disappointed, but then I chose to embrace their plan, and it ended up being one of our best Christmases ever. And I didn’t have to wear myself out preparing a thing.

Instead of me cooking myself into a frenzy, we decided to go out for Christmas dinner. Breakfast ended up being avocado toast and scrambled eggs. I was the only one who decorated about a dozen sugar cookies (the rest went in the freezer). And the gingerbread houses I had purchased remained unopened so I could gift them to Goodwill immediately after the holiday.

Ultimately, our children and grandchildren just wanted to be together, and they wanted me, Mimi/Grandma, to be relaxed and unstressed so I could laugh and hang out and snack and share funny stories about them and my own life too.

It took some crazy holiday over-planning to prove an important point – all I really wanted for Christmas was a family who loved and enjoyed each other. And that’s exactly what I got.

We never needed a Hallmark movie to show us what our own Christmas should be. My family wanted me – the real me – relaxed and happy, enjoying every moment with them. That’s the best gift we can all give our families this year. Peace, rest, and maybe a store-bought plate of cookies. Whatever unstressed looks like to you, I encourage you to discover your own family’s idea of a perfectly imperfect Christmas.

Sprinkle in a Hallmark movie, or two – or ten. And be sure to read a special Christmas book to the kiddos before bed. I recommend the following, though, as the author, I’m rather partial to it.